February 12, 2026
Sleep did not come easily last night. I lay awake longer than I wanted to, mind drifting but never fully settling, and finally took half of a sleep supplement pill. Even then, my rest felt thin and uneasy. I dreamed I was an altar boy again, back in vestments, standing too close to the altar, suddenly aware that I had forgotten the rituals of the Mass. I felt exposed — everyone waiting, and I couldn’t remember what came next. Another dream followed: my daughter, reunited with her old grade school classmates, forming a rock band. They were loud and joyful and utterly certain of themselves. The contrast between the two dreams — one anxious and uncertain, the other bright and exuberant — lingered with me into the morning.
The weather turned colder than yesterday, a high of 40 degrees but sunny. The light made the cold feel cleaner somehow, more bearable.
Work was busy from the start. At lunch, I talked with Jackie, our office manager. We found ourselves discussing hiking and outdoor activities — trails, fresh air, the appeal of being away from screens. She mentioned she’s involved with a dance company and offered to invite me to future shows if I’m interested. I liked that detail about her life; it added dimension to the familiar office rhythms.
Before heading back inside, I went looking for bicycle stands to lock up and couldn’t find any. It was mildly frustrating to circle around without success. Pam, the security guard, told me they’re in the parking structure near the stairs. Simple enough — I just hadn’t looked in the right place.
The afternoon moved quickly. I completed onboarding training for new hires, which felt steady and productive. I left an hour early to prepare for the evening’s code release, already anticipating that it might stretch late.
At home, I made pork chops for dinner. Luisa sat with me while I ate, and we talked about the music she’s choosing for her class performance for Cinco de Mayo. I enjoy those conversations — her thoughtfulness about rhythm and mood and what will engage her students.
After dinner, I did some weight training, trying to build energy rather than dwell on the fatigue from the night before. At 9 p.m., I logged back into work for the release. We ran into issues, and after some effort, decided to roll back the changes. Disappointing, but prudent.
I logged off at 11:30 p.m. and went to bed, feeling the long arc of the day. I hope tonight brings deeper rest.